Top Five Regrets of the Dying

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Source: The following is from the Guardian - http://m.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying 

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

 

Fashion and Design

Our dear friend Dennis Cigler, the handsome one with scarf, teaches at an Arts Prep School In Rome, Italy. The video is of his students preparing for the IB Visual Arts Exams. 

We visit with Dennis whenever we are in Rome, see here and here. Each year he helps his students prepare for these important exams and helps to make it a magical experience. 

Congratulations, dear friend.

New Website Goes Live Today

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I decided February 5th to consolidate my business and personal life, because I have previously kept them quite separate.  

Many people only know one aspect of my world of interests and that only complicated relationships.

Therefore, after a discussion with Pamela and later the accountant I started brainstorming the process.

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Birthday Cake 2013

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Pamela made my favorite Italian Cream Cake. She made two to be precise. And after the party with a few friends there was still one cake left for me to enjoy over the next week. Thank you Love.

End of the World

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Despite all foolish worries that the world would end today, because a Mayan calendar ended a cycle, the sun still rose at 7:52. The winter solstice arrived at 8:20 and Blue Rocks was at low tide an hour later. Below are a few photos since the world did not come to an end.

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Photos taken with iPhone5.


9 Free Ways to Become Wealthy

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Wealth is normally defined in terms of money. But that is confusing wealth with riches. The following is from the blog, Marc and Angel Hack Life.

The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.  Start building real wealth today by doing the following:

  1. Realize that the small things are really the big things. – We are always looking for something better that we sometimes fail to realize that we already have the best we could hope for.  When you get something small, you want more.  When you get more, you desire even more.  But when you lose everything, you realize the small things were really the big things.  Read The Last Lecture.
  2. Cherish your relationships. – Sometimes people are beautiful, not in looks, not in what they say, just in who they are and what they do.  Remember, you will never fully appreciate all of the things someone does for you until you find yourself doing the same things for yourself.  So be grateful for the people who make your life a little brighter.  They are the charming gardeners who help your soul blossom.
  3. Be okay with the fact that you can’t control everything. – When you’re younger, you exhaust yourself trying to take charge of everything in your life, other people, and all situations.  Then one day it dawns on you that you will never gain control until you lose the need to have it – until you can simply let it be okay, to not be perfectly okay.  When you’re wearing yourself ragged trying to juggle the outcome of everything happening around you, it’s time to stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that the only things you can truly control, are what choices you will make, and how much control you will give to the fear that you’re feeling.

Go to Marc and Angel Hack Life to read the remaining six ways to become wealthy.

Interesting Chart: Newspaper Ad Revenue Crashes

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The Problem

Over the past decade the impact of the internet (blogs, Twitter, and Facebook) has replaced the newspaper as the primary source of daily information. With iPhones, iPads, and the ability to send photos or video around the world instantly over the social networks, print is just too slow. Example: video streamed live during the last tsunami, not from the news services, but from individual cell phones.

The Necessary Change

The print media, like the book industry, must adapt to the changes occurring around them. Publishers realized when ebook sales surpassed print book sales, several quarters ago, that they must embrace what they have resisted for so long. The print newspaper industry must also adapt or perish. Without the meager addition of online sales the newspapers would be back to the 1950’s revenue.

Impact on You

We are all susceptible to change, which remains constant. Humans are the most adaptable creatures on the planet and businesses must also be adaptable. Look around and see what technology or resource you are resisting to adopt. It may be just what you need to prepare for the future.

Tall Ships in Lunenburg

The tall ships arrived early yesterday to avoid the storm that blew through. Today was a beautiful day and the wharf quickly filled with locals and visitors wanting to see the great ships up close. They are here today and tomorrow before heading further south. Thank you for visiting.

Mystery of the Knitted Rock

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We sat on the rocks in front of the house the other night for some wine and cheese as the sun set. The next day a rock with a knitted cap marked the spot. The mystery is we do not who placed it there. We asked several suspects and they were clueless. If you can solve the mystery please let us know. It may be a random act of creativity and kindness. Either way it brightens our day each time we walk, bike, or drive by this colorful reminder. Thanks to whoever.

Evening of Poetry at the Makery

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Alice Burdick, Jaime Forsythe, and John Wall Barger read this evening from their latest collections of poetry. The Makery was filled to capacity for the reading. Many other local poets showed up and the evening was good conversation and great fun. Jaime started the evening with her Surrealist poems filled with vivid sensory detail. John entertained everyone with humorous tales of his travels and personal revelations. After a short break Alice read from her collection of new poems composed over the last several years detailing daily life in a small community. The evening ended with each reading a last poem.

Blue Rocks, Red Lobster

May 30, 2012 We are gratefully settled into our new seaside rental in a little fishing village called Blue Rocks.

A view from up here:

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We have plenty to tell you and show you about our third annual Writing the Waves cruise in the Mediterranean, but, first, a little tasty tease from home...

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We arrived home on the second last day of the season and bought them (live) from Captain Cecil--here, a 2 minute walk away:

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If you can't make out that sign, it says: LOBSTER $5.00 LB.

We tried two steamed and two boiled. The taste test says ... steamed, in salt (always!) water, and not for long:

1-1/4 lbs.  7-8 minutes 1-1/2 lb.  8-10 minutes 2 lbs.  11-12 minutes 2-1/2-3 lb.  12-14 minutes 5 lb.  20-22 minutes

Keep a lookout for travel photos from Italy, Egypt, Turkey, and Greece!

-P

Article of Interest: How To Predict the Technological Future, According to Wired

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MUNICH, GERMANY - JANUARY 22: Thomas Goetz of WIRED speaks during the Digital Life Design conference (DLD) at HVB Forum on January 22, 2012 in Munich, Germany. DLD (Digital - Life - Design) is a global conference network on innovation, digital, science and culture which connects business, creative and social leaders, opinion-formers and investors for crossover conversation and inspiration. (Photo by Nadine Rupp/Getty Images)

The following is an interesting article:

How To Predict the Technological Future, According to Wired By Torie Bosch

http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2012/04/ff_spotfuture/all/1

Finally Moved In, Mostly

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The boxes are slowly disappearing as we unpack and the house is now livable. We still have dozens of boxes to go through that were in storage while we traveled on our Tour of North America for three years. But they will wait until we return from our Med Cruise in June. Until then we are going to just enjoy the views, lunch on the decks, relax in a comfortable seat, read a lot, and just be.

The full moon over the water last night was magical. Today, several kayakers set in the water just in front of the house while we were having lunch on the deck and warming in the sun. 

Typical Blue Rocks Coastline

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Source: Sminky (Flickr)

Biscuit Eater Closes Today


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Source: Watercolor by Leslie Snidal

The Biscuit Eater in Mahone Bay closes today. I rode the bike over and Pamela meet me there. The place was hopping as friends from all over the province came to say goodbye to a community icon. We all had a tea or coffee and one of the famous biscuits and mourned the loss of our favorite gathering place. 

Rumor is there may be hope of a buyer, we cross our fingers and hope. Though we know whatever comes will not be the same, but hopefully different in a good way. Dawn, Alden, Patterson, Deb, Jo, and Robin thank you for so many wonderful memories and good times.

Boxes, Boxes, Everywhere...

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Moving to Blue Rocks next week and the house is full of boxes. Eight years ago we crossed the border into Canada with less than two dozen boxes because the couple that bought our house in Atlanta bought everything in the house (pots, pans, books, linens, paintings, almost everything. Today we have enough stuff to require three men and a truck to move us. 

But we are excited about the move. Be will be right on the water on Point Road in a great house, with a wonderful deck, and uninterrupted views of the water. We are looking forward to our first party in the new home and hope we can find a sunny day to enjoy being outside. Until then, it is back to packing.

Sea Otter for Easter

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Pamela knows I love sea otters and gave me this cute puppet for Easter. Otters seems to have more fun, all the time, than any other animal. If I come back around again, I hope it is as a sea or river otter.

We had a lovely day in Halifax yesterday. brunched at Heartwood Bakery and Cafe, spent the afternoon at the Halifax Independent Filmmakers Festival, had dinner the Alexander Keith’s Red Stag Tavern, and an evening at Neptune Theatre enjoying La Cage Aux Folles. It was a good day.