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Top Five Regrets of the Dying
Source: The following is from the Guardian - http://m.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying
There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?
Here's to the crazy ones...
Fashion and Design
Our dear friend Dennis Cigler, the handsome one with scarf, teaches at an Arts Prep School In Rome, Italy. The video is of his students preparing for the IB Visual Arts Exams.
We visit with Dennis whenever we are in Rome, see here and here. Each year he helps his students prepare for these important exams and helps to make it a magical experience.
Congratulations, dear friend.
New Loaf of Artisan Bread
From Jim Lahey's Sullivan Street Bakery recipe.
Rustic Artisan No-Knead Bread - UPDATED w/recipe
Fresh from the oven and irresistible.
UPDATE (2013-0225): The original Jim Lahey's Sullivan Street Bakery recipe - PDF link.
New Website Goes Live Today
I decided February 5th to consolidate my business and personal life, because I have previously kept them quite separate.
Many people only know one aspect of my world of interests and that only complicated relationships.
Therefore, after a discussion with Pamela and later the accountant I started brainstorming the process.
Birthday Cake 2013
Pamela made my favorite Italian Cream Cake. She made two to be precise. And after the party with a few friends there was still one cake left for me to enjoy over the next week. Thank you Love.
End of the World
Despite all foolish worries that the world would end today, because a Mayan calendar ended a cycle, the sun still rose at 7:52. The winter solstice arrived at 8:20 and Blue Rocks was at low tide an hour later. Below are a few photos since the world did not come to an end.
Photos taken with iPhone5.
9 Free Ways to Become Wealthy
Wealth is normally defined in terms of money. But that is confusing wealth with riches. The following is from the blog, Marc and Angel Hack Life.
The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money. Start building real wealth today by doing the following:
- Realize that the small things are really the big things. – We are always looking for something better that we sometimes fail to realize that we already have the best we could hope for. When you get something small, you want more. When you get more, you desire even more. But when you lose everything, you realize the small things were really the big things. Read The Last Lecture.
- Cherish your relationships. – Sometimes people are beautiful, not in looks, not in what they say, just in who they are and what they do. Remember, you will never fully appreciate all of the things someone does for you until you find yourself doing the same things for yourself. So be grateful for the people who make your life a little brighter. They are the charming gardeners who help your soul blossom.
- Be okay with the fact that you can’t control everything. – When you’re younger, you exhaust yourself trying to take charge of everything in your life, other people, and all situations. Then one day it dawns on you that you will never gain control until you lose the need to have it – until you can simply let it be okay, to not be perfectly okay. When you’re wearing yourself ragged trying to juggle the outcome of everything happening around you, it’s time to stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that the only things you can truly control, are what choices you will make, and how much control you will give to the fear that you’re feeling.
Go to Marc and Angel Hack Life to read the remaining six ways to become wealthy.